Thursday, June 11, 2009

Black and Blonde Do Not Mix!

Before I get started on this mess of a remix, let's get a few things straight.

1. I love Lady Gaga. Everyone has a guilty pleasure, and I cannot get enough of this bleach blonde cutie pie. (It's no coincidence my BFF calls me BB Gaga.) Her face may be a plastic trainwreck, but my eyes just can't resist her ridiculous, custom-made outfits. (Take a look at her latest video, "Paparazzi," here if you don't know what I'm talking about.)
2. Everyone has a soft spot in their heart for Marilyn Manson. Everytime I hear his rendition of "Tainted Love," I get this urge to fuck the first person I see with my eyes, too nervous to ram my tongue down their throat like a jackhammer gone bad. This blackened beauty has sex appeal down to a T; if only he'd stop with the plastic surgery.

Okay, so onto the remix. Someone had the genius idea of putting Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson in a recording studio together, only they forgot to leave the door open a crack in case something went terribly wrong. No, the anti-christ child was not born, (half blonde, half heartless.) instead this shiteous remix was created. Lady Gaga songs should not be remixed by any means; the originals are overdigitalized to begin with! It breaks my heart to say Manson's vocals do no justice to the song; perhaps the dark one has lost his touch somewhere in between dating Evan Rachel Whore and divorcing burlesque beauty Dita Von Teese. These two sexual deviants could have made something sickenly beautiful together, but instead, they made this:

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